One of the best things about having a wife who’s a Kindergarten teacher is that they do assignments where they try to explain things that are beyond their comprehension. I love their Thanksgiving dinner recipes

But what I like even better than that is when kids try to define concepts such as love. I read one six-year-old schoolchild who responded to his assignment to explain what love means by saying, “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Billy, age 4, said, “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” There’s a future writer! If he’s stringing thoughts together like that at four, look out! 

But my favorite answer to the “what love means” question came from 8-year-old Rebekah. She said, “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time—even when his hands got arthritis, too. That’s love.” 

If Billy is a future writer, Rebekah is a future Bible School teacher! That gets right to the heart of what agape love is—action that puts the needs of others ahead of your own. I know the greeting card companies, the candy makers and the florists would differ, but that’s what real love is (actually, they’d probably just say that the best loving act would be to send a card with a box of chocolates and roses!). 

Love is doing things that make others’ lives better—such as giving rides to someone who can’t drive anymore, or “adopting” a child who needs a Christian mentor, and yes, even painting the toenails of someone whose arthritis prevents her from doing it herself. That’s why when God told husbands to love their wives in Ephesians 5:25, the example He used was Christ’s love for the church, explaining that He gave Himself up for her. It was an action requiring great self-sacrifice that made our lives better. 

So maybe the best Valentine’s Day gift isn’t flowers or candy—maybe it’s doing something sacrificial for someone you love. Just don’t tell FTD!