A few weeks ago, police discovered bomb components and blueprints in the home of an Edmond, Oklahoma teen, who apparently had been making plans to detonate the explosives at his high school. Friends of the young man told police about disturbing texts he had been sending, and that has probably saved numerous lives.

The father of one student at the school wrote an open letter to the would-be bomber that showed a tremendous amount of compassion for someone who might have killed his son. It reminded me of the story of Renee Napier, whose daughter Meagan and her friend Lisa were killed in 2003 when 24-year-old Eric Smallridge chose to get behind the wheel of a car while drunk. He received a 22-year sentence and Renee began to speak to groups about drunk driving. But Renee was a Christian, and God began working on her heart to forgive the man who took her daughter’s life.

Can you imagine that? Maybe you can; I have trouble with it. Oh I’ve forgiven people for other things, but somehow suffering the slings and arrows of insults, theft and line cutting at Food Lion just doesn’t quite measure up to having your child’s life snuffed out. Forgiving something this severe seems like too much to ask.

But that’s exactly what Jesus does. In fact, He doesn’t ask, He demands. In Matthew 18 Jesus tells the parable of the unmerciful servant, in which He makes it clear that if we want God’s forgiveness we don’t really have any choice but to forgive others who hurt us. And there’s no asterisk with a note at the bottom that says, “This includes everything but the killing of your child.” Trust me—I’ve looked for loopholes, but they’re not there. Why would Jesus say that?

For one, as Andy Stanley points out, it’s because forgiveness isn’t about the person who hurt me, it’s for me. I need to forgive—even if the offender hasn’t asked for it—because holding on to the anger and pain of grudges will affect all my relationships and eventually destroy me. It’s like carrying around toxic waste in a gym bag; you may not see it, but the radiation harms everyone close to it.

But the other reason Jesus can demand forgiveness is because He did something that eliminated forever any right on our part not to forgive those who’ve hurt us. The whole point of the parable is that God has forgiven us a debt that we can never repay, and that act eliminates any right on our part to withhold forgiveness from those who harm us. If we’re to be followers of Christ it’s not even an option for us.

And though I pray I never have to forgive anything as heinous as what Renee Napier had to, her story gives proof that with God’s help we can forgive anything. Not only did she forgive Eric Smallridge, she petitioned to get his sentence reduced. Through her forgiveness he gave his life to Christ, and now speaks to groups alongside her as both a warning of the danger of drunk driving and a testament to the power of forgiveness in Christ.

As we prepare to celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ at Easter, let’s be thankful of the forgiveness and mercy we received at the cross, and the eternal life we have because He conquered death. And let’s also pray that the memory of the forgiveness we received spurs us on to offer the same forgiveness to others.